Perplexing Presbyterian Paradox
I haven’t posted for awhile, in part, because I have again been trying to work out my problems with the Presbyterian Church. My great grandparents, my grandfather, my parents, and I, grew up in the Presbyterian Church. I went to Round Hill Presbyterian Church in Elizabeth until I went away to college in Boston. I often visited Round Hill when I was home from other places I lived, or for family events once I moved back to the area. At one point, I even attended a very radical Presbyterian Church in San Francisco. On Gay Pride Day, Janie Spahr came to preach there, and the whole congregation followed her down to the parade.
In January, I started going back to Round Hill. Rev. Meek started a Saturday night service with a rock band. He plays in the band. I love the service, and I still attend regularly. On one occasion, something very offensive to me (and homophobic) appeared in the program. Being a loving Christian lady, I did not want to attack anyone, and I dealt with it by posting my feelings about it on the internet. Since that time, nothing further offensive has been said at Round Hill, so I still attend.
I met many wonderful, helpful people because of my posts. One person in particular, Rev. Erin Swenson, decided to really do something about my problem. She e-mailed me and then e-mailed several of her friends in an attempt to resolve my situation. That worked. A friend of hers e-mailed me and invited me to the Sixth Presbyterian Church of Pittsburgh. I went, I loved the church, which is a More Light Presbyterian Church. Now I’m going to both churches, and I would like to join Sixth.
One complication got in the way of all this, however, and it’s a big one. I wasn’t at all sure who Erin was, so I logged onto her web site and it said, "Transgender Presbyterian Minister." Anyway, I had gone through a gender change with a dear friend of mine about 20 years ago, so this made a huge impression on me. I read Erin’s story and was very impressed with it and got very emotional about it. The way this ended up affecting me is that I decided I wanted to meet a lot of transgender people.
Well, the first thing I did was look through profiles on the computer, find someone I wanted to meet, and contact her. That is my dear friend "Valerie" whom I’ve written about several times on my blog. I really picked the right person in contacting her, and she’s been a great friend. Then I joined the TransFamily of Cleveland message board and went to their meeting. This resulted in my meeting a ton of transgender friends. I have met all kinds of people, in all kinds of relationships, in various stages of being transgender. Maybe I’ll try to write more about them on my blog.
Meanwhile, I joined More Light Presbyterians. This has all been an emotional roller coaster, because, ironically, I think the Presbyterian Church itself is more ready for someone like me than MLP is! This is pretty strange. One of their top leaders is a transgender minister, but they aren’t ready for me. I feel that the gay and lesbian people who are members of MLP are very uncomfortable with me. I don’t think they can deal with someone who just wants to make a lot of transgender friends and hang out with them. I feel this at Sixth Presbyterian, that they are just uncomfortable around me.
I am supposed to work on joining Sixth Presbyterian on July 10. I already told the minister I would be at the class. Another thing I have found out through all this is that I do like to go to church. I like going to Round Hill. I like Sixth Presbyterian’s service. Going to these services helps me, gives me time with God, gives me time to pray, confess my sins, hear scriptures, sing, love the people around me, want to serve God in my way. It makes me a better person and an easier person to live with in many ways. But I don’t know if Sixth Presbyterian, even though it is a More Light church, is ready for someone like me who has so many transgender friends. I’m not sure how open to be about this at church or whether it’s time for me to just go to the service and hang back on socializing. I have some sense that I would be more accepted by the straight people at Sixth Presbyterian than I would at MLP. In fact, I’m beginning to believe MLP is the last Presbyterians who will accept me. Who knows, maybe even Round Hill would be more accepting!
Conclusion: Maybe the Presbyterian Church is ready for me. Maybe. Maybe not. But More Light Presbyterians is definitely NOT ready for someone like me!
In January, I started going back to Round Hill. Rev. Meek started a Saturday night service with a rock band. He plays in the band. I love the service, and I still attend regularly. On one occasion, something very offensive to me (and homophobic) appeared in the program. Being a loving Christian lady, I did not want to attack anyone, and I dealt with it by posting my feelings about it on the internet. Since that time, nothing further offensive has been said at Round Hill, so I still attend.
I met many wonderful, helpful people because of my posts. One person in particular, Rev. Erin Swenson, decided to really do something about my problem. She e-mailed me and then e-mailed several of her friends in an attempt to resolve my situation. That worked. A friend of hers e-mailed me and invited me to the Sixth Presbyterian Church of Pittsburgh. I went, I loved the church, which is a More Light Presbyterian Church. Now I’m going to both churches, and I would like to join Sixth.
One complication got in the way of all this, however, and it’s a big one. I wasn’t at all sure who Erin was, so I logged onto her web site and it said, "Transgender Presbyterian Minister." Anyway, I had gone through a gender change with a dear friend of mine about 20 years ago, so this made a huge impression on me. I read Erin’s story and was very impressed with it and got very emotional about it. The way this ended up affecting me is that I decided I wanted to meet a lot of transgender people.
Well, the first thing I did was look through profiles on the computer, find someone I wanted to meet, and contact her. That is my dear friend "Valerie" whom I’ve written about several times on my blog. I really picked the right person in contacting her, and she’s been a great friend. Then I joined the TransFamily of Cleveland message board and went to their meeting. This resulted in my meeting a ton of transgender friends. I have met all kinds of people, in all kinds of relationships, in various stages of being transgender. Maybe I’ll try to write more about them on my blog.
Meanwhile, I joined More Light Presbyterians. This has all been an emotional roller coaster, because, ironically, I think the Presbyterian Church itself is more ready for someone like me than MLP is! This is pretty strange. One of their top leaders is a transgender minister, but they aren’t ready for me. I feel that the gay and lesbian people who are members of MLP are very uncomfortable with me. I don’t think they can deal with someone who just wants to make a lot of transgender friends and hang out with them. I feel this at Sixth Presbyterian, that they are just uncomfortable around me.
I am supposed to work on joining Sixth Presbyterian on July 10. I already told the minister I would be at the class. Another thing I have found out through all this is that I do like to go to church. I like going to Round Hill. I like Sixth Presbyterian’s service. Going to these services helps me, gives me time with God, gives me time to pray, confess my sins, hear scriptures, sing, love the people around me, want to serve God in my way. It makes me a better person and an easier person to live with in many ways. But I don’t know if Sixth Presbyterian, even though it is a More Light church, is ready for someone like me who has so many transgender friends. I’m not sure how open to be about this at church or whether it’s time for me to just go to the service and hang back on socializing. I have some sense that I would be more accepted by the straight people at Sixth Presbyterian than I would at MLP. In fact, I’m beginning to believe MLP is the last Presbyterians who will accept me. Who knows, maybe even Round Hill would be more accepting!
Conclusion: Maybe the Presbyterian Church is ready for me. Maybe. Maybe not. But More Light Presbyterians is definitely NOT ready for someone like me!
posted by Theodosia @ 8:07 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home