Transgender Friends - Part 5

I have finished the story of my first significant encounter with a transgender person. I posted Part 4 of this yesterday. Time went by. This experience had changed me, but it got filed in some cabinet in the back of my mind until early in 2005. If you’ve read my blog, you know the story. I was having problems at church, talking about it on the internet, and a minister helped me a lot and found a solution for me. I found out this minister was a male-to-female transgender person. I read her story, it brought back what I’d gone through with my friend 20 years ago, and I became very emotional. I was very touched by this minister’s story and how she’d stood up to the church. I immediately clicked with her because of my past experience, and so I probably felt more than I should have for a person who had helped me in this manner. So I kept e-mailing her, and I really longed to meet her in person and hear one of her talks. This hasn’t happened as yet. I probably allowed this to influence me too much, and I decided I wanted to meet other transgender people.

My former attitude I’d adopted, that I know nothing, really came in handy this time. This minister had been married and had children. She had transitioned a bit later in life than my friend 20 years ago. She had a lot more to lose than my friend had. I was glad that I had not made assumptions about the age or family situation of transgender people.

I then did an extremely unusual thing. Transgender people had always come into my life. I decided I would take the initiative and try to meet one. So I started looking through the profiles on AOL. I came across a male-to-female TG who didn’t live too far away. I liked some of the things she said on her home page. She seemed really nice. She had a big picture on her home page of her dressed up to go out to a club. It took me a minute to get used to seeing a male dressed up as a female. But I decided to be brave and e-mail her. I e-mailed her and told her who I was and about some of the transgender people I’d met. She sent me a very nice e-mail back, and it wasn’t long before we became very good friends online.

My attitude that I know nothing served me well with this new friend. It was good that I assumed nothing, or I would have been one confused gal. My new friend had three sons living with her and her girlfriend. They were in an open relationship, and she also saw men. The sons knew, but the public didn’t, so that they would not suffer ridicule. Various family members did or did not know. My friend had to be male at work. She had both a male and female side; she was female online and male on the phone. She felt female mentally but had decided that, realistically, she could not transition at this time. She had taken some steps, taken hormones and stopped them, and was having some hair removal. She had dyed her hair. But usually she dressed female in private or only when she went to a club. She also told me that she probably would never have surgery.

I could have said to myself that this was one crazy, unusual, weird person. What had I gotten myself into? But I remained calm and realized that with all the idiosycracies, this was one of the kindest, most honest, loving, genuine people I’d ever met. This person would give you the shirt or blouse off his or her back! She had a great, gentle, easy-going disposition and a wonderful kooky sense of humor. It would be a great loss in my life to reject this unique dear friend because of her nutty ways, and I have received much fulfillment from my friendship with this friend.

To be continued…