Transgender Friends - Part 7
I left off last time with the beginning of my journey toward reaching out to many transgender people. A variety of issues came up and continue to come up. It’s never boring.
One of the first issues I encountered was dealing with someone who has not completely transitioned to the opposite gender. With the professional woman and the minister I had met, both had decided on a transition from male to female. I now had a friend who was female sometimes and male sometimes. I had to get used to seeing a picture of someone dressed as a female with a female name, then a couple minutes later, the same person called me up, had a very male voice, not even a gay sounding voice, and acted very male. One minute we were talking about nail polish, nightgowns, slips, shoes. The next minute we were talking about fixing the brakes on her car. I’ll never forget one day. A friend had been talking to me online as a female, talking about female things. A few minutes later, a man called me from the auto parts store, and I had to call him by his male name since his children were with him.
I’d get confused with a friend’s male and female modes. I’d expect a female that day on the computer. Instead, my friend would be in a heterosexual male mode and would be flirting with me. I’d get off the computer at night with some heterosexual male who’d been coming onto me, then get an extremely feminine e-mail the next morning, talking about the nightgown she’d slept in, with pink lettering and flowers included, and signed with a female name.
Another thing, however, when you meet someone like this, and why it makes sense to hang in there with them, is that you have to remember that this person is not just transgender. This person is a human being. I’ve gotten into long conversations with my transgender friends about things that have nothing to do with being transgender. This happened with my friend 20 years ago and happens now. I’ve had long talks about ghosts, pets, children, spirituality, cars, and nothing was different about this friendship because my friend was transgender. It was just like a friendship with a non-TG person.
To be continued…
One of the first issues I encountered was dealing with someone who has not completely transitioned to the opposite gender. With the professional woman and the minister I had met, both had decided on a transition from male to female. I now had a friend who was female sometimes and male sometimes. I had to get used to seeing a picture of someone dressed as a female with a female name, then a couple minutes later, the same person called me up, had a very male voice, not even a gay sounding voice, and acted very male. One minute we were talking about nail polish, nightgowns, slips, shoes. The next minute we were talking about fixing the brakes on her car. I’ll never forget one day. A friend had been talking to me online as a female, talking about female things. A few minutes later, a man called me from the auto parts store, and I had to call him by his male name since his children were with him.
I’d get confused with a friend’s male and female modes. I’d expect a female that day on the computer. Instead, my friend would be in a heterosexual male mode and would be flirting with me. I’d get off the computer at night with some heterosexual male who’d been coming onto me, then get an extremely feminine e-mail the next morning, talking about the nightgown she’d slept in, with pink lettering and flowers included, and signed with a female name.
Another thing, however, when you meet someone like this, and why it makes sense to hang in there with them, is that you have to remember that this person is not just transgender. This person is a human being. I’ve gotten into long conversations with my transgender friends about things that have nothing to do with being transgender. This happened with my friend 20 years ago and happens now. I’ve had long talks about ghosts, pets, children, spirituality, cars, and nothing was different about this friendship because my friend was transgender. It was just like a friendship with a non-TG person.
To be continued…
posted by Theodosia @ 8:15 AM
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