Transgender Friends - Part 8

When I decided that I was going to make an effort to go out and meet transgender people, I had to be ready to hear very unusual things that would seem crazy to society. I had to decide what attitude I would have toward these things. If I were going to immediately decide, this is too weird for me, then I was going to have to give up this pursuit. One friend I met, for example, was still male physically and was a rather tall and muscular male to boot. She felt female mentally most of the time and had taken a few steps to change her body. But this was largely a handsome and muscular hunky man to society. About the first thing this person told me when we began our friendship was that she owned 60 nightgowns! Just think about this from society’s point of view. A tall, good-looking masculine guy owns 60 nightgowns. From society’s view, this sounds completely weird. The fact that someone would tell you this right off, the average person would be terrified and think the "guy" should be committed. Well, I’m sorry, but life is short, and I thought it was hilarious. I thought it made my friend much more interesting that this would be the first thing she’d tell me.

I found you have to be ready to hear very strange things about bodies in transition and bodies that may stay stuck at a certain point. You’re going to hear things that society would tell you are extremely bizarre. One friend, who looks like a pillar of the community when you see him in a suit and tie, has taken hormones and has large breasts. He is perfectly comfortable with having male genitals, female breasts, and a beard. He feels the gods in some religions even support this view that this type of body is normal. He feels he cannot go any further in his transition without losing his career and hurting his family.

I had to make a decision that it was not up to me to judge whether someone stayed in the closet or came out as the other gender. I’m not transgender, and I’m not a spouse or family member who has had the situation unwillingly forced on me. I’ve chosen to befriend transgender people. Maybe a family member or another transgender person has some right to accept or reject a transgender person on their willingness to come out or their desire to stay hidden. I decided I do not have a right to take a position or judge any transgender person on this issue. Therefore, I decided I would not use it as a factor in whom I became friends with. I would become friends with people I liked, and I would not advise or judge them regarding coming out or staying in the closet.

To be continued…