Transgender Friends - Part 9
One thing I soon learned in seeking friendships with transgender people is that many of them like to take photos dressed up in the clothing of the gender they feel they truly are. I have not gotten close to any female-to-male TGs, so I’ve had lots of photos e-mailed to me of genetic males dressed up as females. When this begins to happen, you are going to see things that may shock you or at least things that would shock society.
It takes getting used to to see a very masculine male dressed up as female. So I had to do some thinking about my philosophy on this. First of all, who made the rules that men were not allow to wear any of this clothing? Whoever made those rules, why should anyone accept them? Secondly, if these genetic males look bad in this clothing or wearing makeup, why is it? It’s because society has conditioned us that men look bad in this clothing and makeup, it’s for women, not men. What right does society have to say that men don’t look good like this? Still, it is not easy to get used to, and you have to realize that society has conditioned you in a wrong way, but it’s still going to take time to get over it, and you may never get over it.
Still, I don’t like to lie to people. So I always comment on the pictures, but I don’t lie. I’ve never told some very masculine man that "he" looks so feminine and pretty, if "he" doesn’t look that way to me. I also don’t e-mail the person and tell them they look like hell, because they don’t. They only look a bit unusual by society’s standards sometimes. What I try to do, if someone has sent me more than one picture, is to focus on the ones I like the most. I try to focus on clothing that looks best on them. I try to comment on styles that I also like. I comment on the colors I feel the person likes the best. For example, one friend seems to really like pink. Or I say something about the surroundings in the picture. I say something about the hairstyle. I also remember that I love this person, this is my friend, this person is precious to me, and I’m glad to just have a picture of them. I remember that I often receive pictures of people in the gender they were born which don’t look that great.
I also had to deal with other pictures that might be considered very weird by society’s standards. One friend sent me a picture of his breasts after taking hormones. This was not intended to be pornographic. He wanted me to see how his breasts had changed after the hormones. He was proud of them. It’s important to be ready for something like this and to be willing to be accepting about this instead of thinking, well this is just too weird for me.
Another thing to remember is that if a transgender person likes to send pictures of herself dressed up in female clothing, she’s also going to send you pictures of her children, her cats, her spouse, her car, just as someone who is not transgender would do. If you reject the person over the cross-dressing pictures, you won’t get to see their pets, family members, or other things about their lives. The same person who has sent me pictures of something that would be considered weird by society sent me a picture of his daughter’s wedding. Another friend is well-known as a photographer who is able to capture pictures of ghosts. I got to see pictures of ghosts in cemeteries and in Gettysburg.
To be continued..
It takes getting used to to see a very masculine male dressed up as female. So I had to do some thinking about my philosophy on this. First of all, who made the rules that men were not allow to wear any of this clothing? Whoever made those rules, why should anyone accept them? Secondly, if these genetic males look bad in this clothing or wearing makeup, why is it? It’s because society has conditioned us that men look bad in this clothing and makeup, it’s for women, not men. What right does society have to say that men don’t look good like this? Still, it is not easy to get used to, and you have to realize that society has conditioned you in a wrong way, but it’s still going to take time to get over it, and you may never get over it.
Still, I don’t like to lie to people. So I always comment on the pictures, but I don’t lie. I’ve never told some very masculine man that "he" looks so feminine and pretty, if "he" doesn’t look that way to me. I also don’t e-mail the person and tell them they look like hell, because they don’t. They only look a bit unusual by society’s standards sometimes. What I try to do, if someone has sent me more than one picture, is to focus on the ones I like the most. I try to focus on clothing that looks best on them. I try to comment on styles that I also like. I comment on the colors I feel the person likes the best. For example, one friend seems to really like pink. Or I say something about the surroundings in the picture. I say something about the hairstyle. I also remember that I love this person, this is my friend, this person is precious to me, and I’m glad to just have a picture of them. I remember that I often receive pictures of people in the gender they were born which don’t look that great.
I also had to deal with other pictures that might be considered very weird by society’s standards. One friend sent me a picture of his breasts after taking hormones. This was not intended to be pornographic. He wanted me to see how his breasts had changed after the hormones. He was proud of them. It’s important to be ready for something like this and to be willing to be accepting about this instead of thinking, well this is just too weird for me.
Another thing to remember is that if a transgender person likes to send pictures of herself dressed up in female clothing, she’s also going to send you pictures of her children, her cats, her spouse, her car, just as someone who is not transgender would do. If you reject the person over the cross-dressing pictures, you won’t get to see their pets, family members, or other things about their lives. The same person who has sent me pictures of something that would be considered weird by society sent me a picture of his daughter’s wedding. Another friend is well-known as a photographer who is able to capture pictures of ghosts. I got to see pictures of ghosts in cemeteries and in Gettysburg.
To be continued..
posted by Theodosia @ 5:00 AM
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