Emotional Blow Up With MLP Message Board
It has been an emotional weekend. I finally had the inevitable blow up over the More Light Presbyterian message board. I ended up with very mixed feelings about it, because it was thanks to that board that I was rescued out of cyberspace by Rev. Erin Swenson, which was one of the best things that ever happened to me. They did let me put one message on the board about my problems with the Presbyterian Church, and Erin was the person who really made it happen for me to go to Sixth Presbyterian. As a result of meeting her, I also realized I could never get over the fact that I had gone through a gender transition with one of my best friends. Therefore, I realized I still needed to have a lot of transgender friends in my life, and I also realized I needed a support group like TransFamily. I loved Sixth Presbyterian, and I was able to work things out with Round Hill Presbyterian. I have met so many wonderful people at Sixth, and now I have a close friend there by the name of Bobbie. I met two of my closest friends in the world in the transgender community, Donna and JimmieLee. I met many other people through TransFamily, and I love that group so much. I feel so welcomed, accepted, loved, appreciated, valued, wanted in that group. I really owe almost all of this to meeting Erin.
However, after I met Erin and a couple other nice people from that board, it all went downhill. I was rarely ever allowed to post anything. I resented the fact that only a few cliquey honchos were allowed to post. I was very bored by most of the posts. I felt the board was very patriarchal. I also resented the fact that people were not allowed to post personal messages and fellowship with other LGBT and supportive Presbyterians around the country. When I tried to e-mail people on the board, I was usually ignored or met with hostility. It all came to a head and I had a meltdown over the weekend. They had just refused to post something I had written, when someone else posted that Billy Graham’s daughter had been arrested for domestic violence. The responses to this post increasingly deteriorated, and they finally allowed someone to post a message calling Billy Graham’s daughter "white trash." I felt that it was very unfair that the in group is allowed to post something calling anyone white trash, when I have never tried to post anything nearly that offensive. Anyway, a fellow named Ray did post something condemning this behavior, so poor Ray ended up being the recipient of my meltdown. I sent him several emotional e-mails, to the point where he was going to call me long distance to talk it over. I finally sent him an e-mail telling him that I just needed to distance myself permanently from the message board, and that it had given me a very negative impression of MLP. I realize MLP probably isn’t as bad as my impression of it is thanks to the board. Naturally, I didn’t hear from one person who was concerned about my feelings. I’m sure their attitude is, good riddance. In contrast, when I was offended on the TransFamily board, many people came to my defense.
After going to Round Hill on Saturday night, going to Sixth Presbyterian on Sunday, going to the meeting to join Sixth, going to see Pedro Martinez at PNC Park, spending some time at Bobbie’s apartment, then chatting on the computer with Donna and JimmieLee, I felt somewhat better. I was treated very nicely and they really made an effort to make me feel welcome and part of Round Hill on Saturday evening. On Sunday, Myra gave me a big hug at Sixth Presbyterian, and that helped. During the class, Mary Louise, the new minister, and I discussed how Erin had brought me to Sixth Presbyterian. Mary Louise knows who Erin is now and says Erin will come to Sixth Presbyterian in November. Bobbie was in the class with me, and that helped. I spent time with Bobbie after the ball game, and she and I are going to attend a dessert with the pastor on Tuesday evening.
I still feel very reluctant to attend the regional MLP conference in November, if they even let me in after this. I do want to see Erin, however. I try to realize that this organization isn’t as bad as the impression I have received from the message board. Millie spoke during the class I attended about how much the More Light movement had reinvigorated Sixth Presbyterian. I loved More Light Sunday. I like a lot of the members of MLP at Sixth Presbyterian. I’ll just have to hope time and distance from the message board allow me to have a better impression of MLP.
However, after I met Erin and a couple other nice people from that board, it all went downhill. I was rarely ever allowed to post anything. I resented the fact that only a few cliquey honchos were allowed to post. I was very bored by most of the posts. I felt the board was very patriarchal. I also resented the fact that people were not allowed to post personal messages and fellowship with other LGBT and supportive Presbyterians around the country. When I tried to e-mail people on the board, I was usually ignored or met with hostility. It all came to a head and I had a meltdown over the weekend. They had just refused to post something I had written, when someone else posted that Billy Graham’s daughter had been arrested for domestic violence. The responses to this post increasingly deteriorated, and they finally allowed someone to post a message calling Billy Graham’s daughter "white trash." I felt that it was very unfair that the in group is allowed to post something calling anyone white trash, when I have never tried to post anything nearly that offensive. Anyway, a fellow named Ray did post something condemning this behavior, so poor Ray ended up being the recipient of my meltdown. I sent him several emotional e-mails, to the point where he was going to call me long distance to talk it over. I finally sent him an e-mail telling him that I just needed to distance myself permanently from the message board, and that it had given me a very negative impression of MLP. I realize MLP probably isn’t as bad as my impression of it is thanks to the board. Naturally, I didn’t hear from one person who was concerned about my feelings. I’m sure their attitude is, good riddance. In contrast, when I was offended on the TransFamily board, many people came to my defense.
After going to Round Hill on Saturday night, going to Sixth Presbyterian on Sunday, going to the meeting to join Sixth, going to see Pedro Martinez at PNC Park, spending some time at Bobbie’s apartment, then chatting on the computer with Donna and JimmieLee, I felt somewhat better. I was treated very nicely and they really made an effort to make me feel welcome and part of Round Hill on Saturday evening. On Sunday, Myra gave me a big hug at Sixth Presbyterian, and that helped. During the class, Mary Louise, the new minister, and I discussed how Erin had brought me to Sixth Presbyterian. Mary Louise knows who Erin is now and says Erin will come to Sixth Presbyterian in November. Bobbie was in the class with me, and that helped. I spent time with Bobbie after the ball game, and she and I are going to attend a dessert with the pastor on Tuesday evening.
I still feel very reluctant to attend the regional MLP conference in November, if they even let me in after this. I do want to see Erin, however. I try to realize that this organization isn’t as bad as the impression I have received from the message board. Millie spoke during the class I attended about how much the More Light movement had reinvigorated Sixth Presbyterian. I loved More Light Sunday. I like a lot of the members of MLP at Sixth Presbyterian. I’ll just have to hope time and distance from the message board allow me to have a better impression of MLP.
posted by Theodosia @ 12:19 PM
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